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some new guidelines for living
No one owes you anything--not the government, your employer, your family, or your
spouse. Although the world around you is less and less definite and predictable, it is
no less valuable and mysterious.To rejoice in living you must invent your own future,
entrepreneur your life, and expect surprises.Global change is the major force ... in the lives of everyone on earth... Take advantage
of the expanding possibilities now available to you in our world of constant flow.You have no ultimate safety, security or guarantees, so don't
expect any. What you have are endless opportunities to rearrange
your priorities for work, play, and life...Your life is an adventure, a journey through time. There are no
lasting arrival points and few lasting endings. Everything is
flow--you just keep moving, day by day...
Know how to recycle yourself. Live each chapter of your life
fully, then ... begin the next chapter. Weave,
unravel, and reweave your life, over and over......guide your life ... follow your own values and vision...
...Embrace the unknown ahead. Live on the outer edge of your possibilities,
not on the inner edge of your security......how to conduct your journey: Have a long term purpose with short-term goals...
Refuse to be defined and consumed by your career work...
Everyone on earth is linked to the same destiny. We share the same air, water, food, and ...
We are in each other's hands......Rewrite the myths of aging with your evolving presence and leadership...
Leave a legacy that makes a difference.Excerpted from "The 12 New Rules"
By Frederic M. Hudson, Ph.D., President and
Pam McLean, Ph.D., Vice-President,
The Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara.
Website: www.hudsoninstitute.com
The Dalai Lama's Instructions for life
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others, and Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
Albert Einstein
A human being is a part of the whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space.
He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.
This delusion is a kind of prison, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us.
Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
friends
I've been thinking about the difference between a friend and a pal. To me a friend tells you the truth to help you keep growing while a pal goes along for the ride, always agreeing with you. Some people don't allow truth spoken so have only pals. I prefer to seek the truth.
Denial has been described as...
Don't Even Notice I'm Always Lying.
People in denial don't and hope we won't.A. Nonimus
Paul Klee
Presumptuous is the artist who does not follow his road through to
the end. But chosen are those artists who penetrate to the region of that
secret place where primeval power nurtures all evolution. There, where
the power-house of all time and space - call it brain or heart of creation -
activates every function; who is the artist who would not dwell there?
In the womb of nature, at the source of creation, where the secret key to
all lies guarded. But not all can enter. Each should follow where the pulse
of his own heart leads.Ananda K. Coomaraswamy
The student of art, if he is to do more than accumulate facts, must
also sacrifice himself: the wider the scope of his study in time and
space, the more must he cease to be a provincial, the more he must
universalize himself, whatever may be his own temperament and training.
He must assimilate whole cultures that seem strange to him, and must also
be able to elevate his own levels of reference from those of observation
to that of the vision of ideal forms. He must rather love than be curious
about the subject of his study. It is just because so much is demanded
that the study of "art" can have cultural value, that is to say may
become a means of growth...Piet Mondrian
I think you too recognize the important relationship between philosophy
and art, and it is just this relationship that most painters deny. The great
masters do grasp it, unconsciously; but I believe that a painter's conscious
spiritual knowledge will have a much greater influence upon his art, and
that it would be due only to a weakness in him or lack of genius, should
this spiritual knowledge be harmful to his art...The above quotations are from An Artist's Book of Inspiration
- A Collection of Thoughts on Art, Artists, and Creativity
Compiled and Edited by Astrid Fitzgerald
some thoughts from Epictetus
On earth we are prisoners in an earthly body. We are souls carrying around a corpse. God could not make our bodies free, but he gave us some of his divinity. He is the father of men, and we are all brothers. We should not say "I am a Roman", but "I am a citizen of the universe." If you were a kinsman of Caesar, you would feel safe; but there is more safety in being a kinsman of God. If we grasp that virtue is the only true good, we shall see that no real evil can befall us.
Who then is a Stoic? One who lives by his philosophy of performing his part worthily, whatever it may be. Happy in the knowledge that his life is free of passion and disturbance. Show me the soul of a man who wishes to be at one with God, and to blame God or man no longer, to fail in nothing, to feel no misfortune, to be free from anger, envy, and jealousy. One who wishes to change his manhood for godhead, and who in this poor body of his has his purpose set on communion with God.
Epictetus, a Greek who lived from 60 to 100 A.D., was lame as a result of cruel punishment when a slave and later was freed by Nero and then became his minister. This Stoic lived and taught in Rome until 90 A.D. when he was banished along with all philosophers by the Emperor Domitian. The last ten years of his life were occupied with writing and teaching.
Villanova Commencement Address:
It's a great honor for me to be the third member of my family to receive an honorary doctorate from this great university. It's an honor to follow my great-Uncle Jim, who was a gifted physician, and my Uncle Jack, who is a remarkable businessman. Both of them could have told you something important about their professions, about medicine or commerce.
I have no specialized field of interest or expertise, which puts me at a disadvantage, talking to you today. I'm a novelist. My work is human nature. Real life is all I know. Don't ever confuse the two, your life and your work. The second is only part of the first. Don't ever forget the words my father sent me on a postcard last year: "If you win the rat race, you're still a rat." Or what John Lennon wrote before he was gunned down in the driveway of the Dakota: "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans."
You walk out of here this afternoon with only one thing that no one else has. There will be hundreds of people out there with your same degree; there will be thousands of people doing what you want to do for a living. But you will be the only person alive who has sole custody of your life. Your particular life. Your entire life. Not just your life at a desk, or your life on a bus, or in a car, or at the computer. Not just the life of your mind, but the life of your heart. Not just your bank account, but your soul.
People don't talk about the soul very much anymore. It's so much easier to write a resume than to craft a spirit. But a resume is a cold comfort on a winter night, or when you're sad, or broke, or lonely, or when you've gotten back the test results and they're not so good.Here is my resume: I am a good mother to three children. I have tried never to let my profession stand in the way of being a good parent. I no longer consider myself the center of the universe. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh. I am a good friend to my friends, and they to me. Without them, there would be nothing to say to you today, because I would be a cardboard cutout. But I call them on the phone, and I meet them for lunch. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh.
So here is what I wanted to tell you today: Get a life. A real life, not a manic pursuit of the next promotion, the bigger paycheck, the larger house. Do you think you'd care so very much about those things if you blew an aneurysm one afternoon, or found a lump in your breast? Get a life in which you notice the smell of salt water pushing itself on a breeze over Seaside Heights, a life in which you stop and watch how a red-tailed hawk circles over the water gap or the way a baby scowls with concentration when she tries to pick up a Cheerio with her thumb and first finger.
Get a life. Pick up the phone. Send an e-mail. Write a letter. Kiss your Mom. Hug your Dad. Let those you care about know that you do. Open up your heart. Get a life in which you are generous. Look around at the azaleas in the suburban neighborhood where you grew up; look at a full moon hanging silver in a black, black sky on a cold night. And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.
I learned to live many years ago. Something really, really bad happened to me, something that changed my life in ways that, if I had my druthers, it would never have been changed at all. And what I learned from it is what, today, seems to be the hardest lesson of all. I learned to love the journey, not the destination. I learned that it is not a dress rehearsal, and that today is the only guarantee you get. I learned to look at all the good in the world and to try to give some of it back because I believed in it completely and utterly. And I tried to do that, in part,by telling others what I had learned. By telling them this: Consider the lilies of the field. Look at the fuzz on a baby's ear. Read in the backyard with the sun on your face. Learn to be happy. And think of life as a terminal illness because if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived. Just keep your eyes and ears open, the classroom is everywhere. The exam comes at the very end. No man ever said on his deathbed, "I wish I had spent more time at the office."
I found one of my best teachers on the boardwalk at Coney Island maybe fifteen years ago. It was December, and I was doing a story about how the homeless survive in the winter months. He and I sat on the edge of the wooden supports, dangling our feet over the side, and he told me about his schedule, panhandling the boulevard when the summer crowds were gone, sleeping in a church when the temperature went below freezing, hiding from the police amidst the Tilt-a-Whirl and the Cyclone and some of the other seasonal rides. But he told me that most of the time he stayed on the boardwalk, facing the water, just the way we were sitting now even when it got cold and he had to wear his newspapers after he read them.
And I asked him why. Why didn't he go to one of the shelters? Why didn't he check himself into the hospital for detox? And he just stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view." And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he said. I try to look at the view. And that's the last thing I have to tell you today, words of wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no place to go, nowhere to be. Look at the view. You'll never be disappointed!by Anna Quindlen
meditations
Jesus was not a Christian, Buddha was not a Buddhist, Allah was not a Muslim. They were unique individuals sharing similar insights into the nature of human consciousness. They and many others like them through their own nature attained understanding of the principal functions governing the efficient and logical usage of human mind. The dictates of religion are essentially designed to establish a value system that will determine a positive communal experience by explicitly defining the differences between what we term as right and wrong or good and evil. The term good is used to refer to the type of behavior that is communally supportive and pro-active. Evil refers to that behavior which stems from thought of self with little regard to the welfare of others. If we follow the path of good then according to the dictates of religion we are rewarded. These rewards that are promised are in fact the benefits of virtue and virtuous living, the principal benefit being emotional strength and well being. This comes through inner self-confidence as a direct result of self-knowledge, knowing we are good, coupled with the sensation and feeling that we are loved and admired by others because we are good. There is a resulting deep inner feeling of peace and tranquility which in turn allows the psyche to expand, increasing sensitivity. [When we use the term heart in reference to our emotional self what is really implied is the psychic center of our beings.] This in turn deepens the inner emotional experience bringing a state of heightened awareness with it that allows us the subtle sense with which we experience the bliss and joy of life. The rewards of Evil of course speak for themselves.
From a technical point of view the individual's objective is to maximize the efficiency of the human mind and energy systems which determine greater functionality or more specifically, enhanced consciousness. This state of being brings intense benefits such as greater sensory awareness, creative thinking, rationale and what we call wisdom. Of course this is only attainable if we are able to sustain the high degree of integrity necessary to create the right conditions for the organism to maintain the higher functions. Thus Integrity is vital, it is the cohesive element that allows the soul to expand into a fuller capacity whereby the inner experience is intensified.
Wisdom is beyond doubt the greatest triumph and accomplishment for the human life. It is the clearest attainable definition of beauty. There is nothing in life more beautiful than a beautiful soul.
Sebastian King
copyright 2000
on parenting
There is no question but that your parents failed you as parents. All parents fail their children, and yours are no exception. No parent is ever adequate for the job of being a parent, and there is no way not to fail at it. No parent ever has enough love, or wisdom, or maturity, or whatever. No parent ever succeeds.
This means that part of your task - like that of every other person - is to supplement what your parents have given you, to find other sources of parenting. You need more mothering than your mother could give you, more fathering than your father had to offer, more brothering and sistering than you got from your siblings.
The problem is complicated by the demands our society makes on parents to be good parents. They are supposed to be 100% adequate, and it is a terrible disgrace if they are not. If they are successful, their children will reward them with devoted love, obedience, and success; if they are not, their children will turn out to be unloving, disobedient, and unsuccessful. This is the prevailing conviction of our society. But when parents buy this notion, they put themselves in an impossible position. They try first to be 100% adequate. When they inevitably fail at that, they try to appear to be 100% adequate. In either case, they cling to you, demanding that you get all your parenting from them, and thus reassure them that they have been good parents. (Such parental concern about children's "failures" can be understood in part as an attempt to force the children to succeed, and thus reassure the parents that they have been good parents.) They thus find it difficult to let you grow up; that is, to find other sources of parenting. This means that you will have to grow up in spite of them rather than wait for their permission. They will not make it easy for you, and you must do it on your own.
To grow up, it is necessary for you to forgive your parents. But you must forgive them for your sake, not theirs. Their self-forgiveness is up to them, not you, and they cannot afford to wait for you to forgive them any more than you can afford to wait for them to forgive you. When you do not forgive them it means that you are still expecting all your parenting from them. You are clinging to them in the hope that if you can make them feel guilty enough, they will finally come through with enough parenting. But this is impossible, and in order for you to be really free to find other parenting, you must forgive.
I hope you will not be embarrassed at your need for parenting, and that you will be humble enough and determined enough to find effective ways of getting it.
reprinted from Your Road Map to Lifelong Happiness: A Guide to the Life You Want, p. 120
by Ken Keyes, Jr. copyright 1995
fatherhood (excerpts)
A man loving himself and his ... children enough to heal himself of his past wounds ...
A man nourishing himself by choosing a good woman & committing to a consciously loving relationship into which to warmly welcome wished-for children.
A man nourishing his woman by speaking total truth, by taking 100% responsibility for his reality, by supporting her highest good as well as his own, (and) by co-creating equally with her the safe nest of home and family.
A man who protects (all) children ... from ... sexual abuse.
A man who chooses to work half-time so he can parent half-time.
A man who loves skin-to-skin contact with his babies.
A man who welcomes a family bed.
A man who carries his baby in a (carry)-pack.
A man who plays the piano with one hand while holding the baby with the other.
A man who kills his television & reads his children stories.
A man who wrestles with his children and always lets them win.
A man who coaches co-ed sports teams for his children and, when they ask who won, tells them whoever had fun won.
A man who will gladly teach and gladly learn. A man who listens.
A man who says it's OK to cry, or be afraid, or angry, or excited.
A man who can cry, & be afraid, & be angry without violence or blaming.
A man who knows that he is the caretaker of divine souls, who come trailing clouds of glory from God, who is their home.
A man who celebrates his childrens' differences from him & encourages them to become whoever & whatever they wish ...
A man who, when the time comes, can let the birds fly the nest & bless them on their way out into the global family.
Such fathers are now among us. Bless them & their fatherhood.
Collected, arranged and presented by Belden Johnson before the Association for Pre- and Perinatal Psychology & Health, San Francisco, CA, December 6, 1999.
ancient wisdom:
When you seek happiness for yourself it will always elude you.
When you seek happiness for others you will find it yourself.
author unknown
divine wisdom (excerpted passages)
... the ancient wisdom all have lived by who have brought forth real fruit by pushing up through ... the darkness of ignorance into the light of understanding. These are the truths that will bring about the increase in consciousness that is needed to further the evolutionary progress of humanity.
There are those who are unwilling to relinquish what they feel are their prerogatives, i.e., to further their own desires for self fulfillment without regard either for others, or for the planet they inhabit.
When our outward gaze is turned inward, and our lives have a higher purpose than mere self-gratification, a new star will shine ... lighting our way of service to others.
Humanity is now learning how to cooperate with the forces of the universe. They are not to be conquered. When enough humility is found to realize this ... man will become fully hu-man.
Be confident. Know who you are, and serve joyfully ...
John Anka
Carl Sandburg
Letter to his sister, 1907.
What seems to me is necessary to make a success as an artist of any kind is this:
Work and love, love and work. Live as your soul tells you you ought to live.
Listen to what others have to say, good and bad, about what you ought to do and
then do as your own soul, your own heart, your own self tells you.
Thank God if you're not satisfied with your work. And don't worry. Go after big things.
Tackle the delicate and subtle compositions, and tackle smashing and tremendous ones.
If you don't play them to suit yourself or anyone else, you will have more power and skill....
Love the people you meet and do the best you can for them with all the heart and head
you have, but don't allow anything big or anything petty, no combination of
troubles of any sort, to drag you away from your ambition or discourage you.
Believe in yourself in the right way and then it will be easy enough to believe in others.
Think yourself a piece of God's finest stuff and you will think better and do more for all others...
Many people seem to be excited about the new millennium, but the new millennium in itself will be nothing special. As we enter into the new millennium things will be the same; there will be nothing unusual. However, if we really want the next millennium to be happier, more peaceful and more harmonious for humankind we will have to make the effort to make it so. This is in our hands, but especially in the hands of the younger generation.
We have had many experiences during this century - constructive as well as extremely destructive ones. We must learn from these experiences. We need to approach the next millennium more holistically, with more openness and farsightedness. If we are going to make the right kind of efforts to make the future of the world better, I believe the following matters are of great importance.
1. While engaging in material progress and taking care of physical well-being we need to pay equal attention to developing peace of mind and thus taking care of the internal aspect of our being.
2. Along with education, which generally deals only with academic accomplishments, we need to develop more altruism and a sense of caring and responsibility for others in the minds of the younger generation studying in various educational institutions. This can be done without necessarily involving religion. One could therefore call this 'secular ethics', as it in fact consists of basic human qualities such as kindness, compassion, sincerity and honesty.
3. This past century in some ways has been a century of war and bloodshed. It has seen a year by year increase in defense spending by most countries in the world. If we are to change this trend we must seriously consider the concept of non-violence, which is a physical expression of compassion. In order to make non-violence a reality we must first work on internal disarmament and then proceed to work on external disarmament. By internal disarmament I mean ridding ourselves of all the negative emotions that result in violence. External disarmament will also have to be done gradually, step by step.
We must first work on the total abolishment of nuclear weapons and gradually work up to total demilitarization throughout the world. In the process of doing this we also need to work towards stopping the arms trade, which is still very widely practiced because it is so lucrative. When we do all these things, we can then hope to see in the next millenium a year by year decrease in the military expenditure of the various nations and a gradual working towards demilitarization.
Human problems will, of course, always remain, but the way to resolve them should be through dialogue and discussion. The next century should be a century of dialogue and discussion rather than one of war and bloodshed.
4. We need to address the issue of the gap between the rich and the poor, both globally and nationally. This inequality, with some sections of the human community having abundance and others on the same planet going hungry or even dying of starvation, is not only morally wrong, but practically also a source of problems. Equally important is the issue of freedom. As long as there is no freedom in many parts of the world there can be no real peace and in a sense no real freedom for the rest of the world.
5. For the sake of our future generations, we need to take care of our earth and of our environment. Environmental damage is often gradual and not easily apparent and by the time we become aware of it, it is generally too late. Since most of the major rivers flowing into many parts of south-east Asia originate from the Tibetan plateau, it will not be out of place to mention here the importance of taking care of the environment in that area.
6. Lastly, one of the greatest challenges today is the population explosion. Unless we are able to tackle this issue effectively we will be confronted with the problem of the natural resources being inadequate for all the human beings on this earth.
We need to seriously look into these matters that concern us all if we are to look forward to the future with some hope.
January 1, 2000, signed: The Dalai Lama
Published with his permission and request that it be disseminated by all means available to as wide an audience as possible.
more quotes ...... 2000...... 2001...... 2002...... 2003...... 2004...... 2005...... 2006...... 2007
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